His Hand in Marriage

May 23, 2011

I dreamed that my husband was in a horrible accident at work and all that was left of him was his hand.  It was alive though, like Thing from Adams Family.

He was completely obnoxious as a hand.  It had only been one day and I was sure I wouldn’t be able to handle this for long. When I cooked, he’d keep sticking his fingers in the food.  When I went shopping, he perched on my shoulder and randomly stuck his finger in my ear to make me jump.  At home, he’d jump out of no where and scare the crap out of me.

It was quickly growing old.  I was contemplating divorcing my husband but wasn’t sure if you could divorce just the hand of your spouse.

Finally the day came to an end and I tried to go to sleep.  It was hard to sleep though because my husband kept jumping around the bed and tickling me through the covers.

I wondered if stabbing a hand to death would carry the death penalty.



Over at Kotaku, writer Stephen Totilo recalls a conversation with Josh Bear, creator of Ms. ‘Splosion Man:

“I don’t dream of hot girls,” Bear told me as he recalled the dream last week at Game Developer’s Conference, “I dream of Miyamoto taking a dump.”

In the dream, as Bear tells it, Miyamoto gets off the toilet, wipes, then gives Bear a hug. Bear, who is also a video game designer in real life though not one who has yet reached Miyamoto’s heights, sees the scene from overhead, but somehow reaches the great Nintendo creator’s level when it’s time for their manly embrace.

Bear thinks the dream might have something to do with a young game designer seeking the approval of an iconic one.

Shigeru Miyamoto is the creator of many successful game franchises including Zelda, Mario, and Donky Kong. Read the rest.

Perfect Unburned Goodness

August 17, 2010

I was dating an angel of God.  He was tall and thick with curly hair, like a blond Seth Rogan.  It was love at first sight.  He came over one day when I was making cookies.  We hung out for a while and started messing around.  I felt a little odd about it, because of the whole God thing, but I figured he knew what he was doing.  So my oven is on this whole time which I totally forgot about, so my cookies burn.  In fact, the whole oven starts to melt because it’s so hot.  But then he uses his angel powers and restores my oven and my cookies to perfect unburned goodness.


I keep dreaming that the CEO of the company I work at and I are BFF. I’ve never even seen the guy in person.



eaten alive

April 1, 2009

i was dreaming that i was cheating on my gf with this tiny little latina thing
and as we were having sex my gf came home
so we tried to hurry up into the other room
and we did
but then i turned around and the girl was gone
and i was like wtf
so im standing there
and there was a room near that room where the light was on
but then it went out
and i was looking into it and out of no where this crazy black jagged monster comes flying out
and rips me apart
i woke up from being eaten alive
and couldnt sleep the rest of the night



April 1, 2009

I dreamt my friend killed his girlfriend in an old dilapidated hotel, but after he did it, he turned into Brad Pitt and she turned into Angelina Jolie and it all made sense.


This one comes from the blog Love, Alynna:

I had this dream last night and it shouldn’t count as a nightmare cause I wasn’t trying to run away from something stereotypically horrific. But it was to me; it warrants the name. He sat there, and as the song goes, ‘he found my letters and read each one out loud… singing my life with his words’. The bastard. And I couldn’t feel anything anymore but the hurt and anger. Then he sung praises about me to this insignificant one who may have listened. But they were all lies, since he didn’t love me anyway and couldn’t find it in himself to do so. Making me feel so high, and then dropping me to the very bottom like I didn’t have a mind, a heart, a soul. All I wanted to give. So I picked up my lame feet and ran. And ran. I didn’t wanna cry but I did. He ran after me and insisted that he did love me, kissing me like he bloody meant it. It was the same old boy in my dream and it was the same old me. Nothing has changed. I haven’t.

Read it all here.