G-spot of the Jungle

October 5, 2011

I had a dream that I went to Hawaii with my brother.  When the trip was over I flew back home, but then I realized that my brother had been left behind.  Apparently he had gone to some weird island to find the “G-spot of the Jungle” which was named as such due to all these crazy drugs that grew there naturally. So I had to buy a super expensive plane ticket back to Hawaii so I could save him from the jungle.

– Overheard in San Francisco


So Say We All

March 9, 2011

I dreamed an episode of Battlestar Galactica.  It went like this:

Sam was a boxer and he had a big fight coming up against this opponent that would surely kill him so he was trying to get out of it.

He goes to Dee for advice.  She suggests that he invite Adama to the fight because it would have to be postponed in order to fit his busy schedule.



Then, for reasons that made sense at the time, Dee starts detailing all these way to undermine women.  Somehow this was going to help him with the fight.  Meanwhile he’s wondering why a woman would suggest such sexist tactics and as she talks he imagines her with a goatee.



– Nicole

I was in a warehouse and saw before me a menacing raptor. For some reason, I thought raptors were afraid of cold, so I walked into a room full of ice. The raptor approached me, unafraid, and moved it’s head in closely grimacing with a full set of sharp teeth. I ducked. It moved in again, and to my surprise, instead of biting my head off, it kissed me. Then we fell to the floor and I started having sex with it. But at this point, it wasn’t a raptor, it had transformed into a naked woman.


Nice Enough

October 8, 2009

Stationed in the desert by my superiors, watching over the place. Keeping tabs. Writing reports. It’s beautiful out here.

There’s a young woman, here, too, but I can’t remember if she came with me, or was here when I arrived, or arrived after me. One of the latter two is what I feel/think, but can’t recall, really. She’s a shaman, also reporting to her superiors.

Three different rituals, all in a row…I can’t recall the first, but the second has to do with spinning around two live coyotes, and seeing how they end up; both on their sides facing East or West, this time…a good sign, I think. The third involves drawing cards or casting bones…I just remember the large rock upon which it was done. Satisfied with the outcome, she calls it a day.

We sit down together on the ground, and watch the sun set. I lay on my back, and she leans on one arm to my side, looking down at me. We talk. I reach up with my left hand, and cup her elbow, gently tugging her toward me. She leans in for a kiss, but I urge her head to my chest, instead; she’s too young, I think. Her skin is soft and inviting. I caress her smooth arms, and rub my shins against her legs, also smooth.

I think of the other young woman who lives in the neighboring cave (a couple of hundred yards from us). We’re the only three people for miles around. If I were to decide they weren’t too young, maybe they’d go for a threesome…but just lying here is nice enough.

-Chris B.

A Vacation in China

November 10, 2008

Me and my wife were vacationing in China.  I was trying to have sex with her when an evacuation siren went off.  She wanted to leave, but I convinced her to stay saying that it was such a crappy place that no one would come looking for us here.  Right then a guy and two girls (scientist maybe?) broke into our room, while I was standing there naked.  They tried to interrogate me for information, but I didn’t know what they were talking about.  They injected my wife with something, and said “You’ll never have sex with your wife again”.  My wife began to shrivel up and grow extra joints and appendages, but I still wanted to have sex with her.

The dream cuts to a scene of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hunting down someone who turns out to be me.  After an epic battle where we run up down the sides of buildings and jump across the building tops, I get seriously injured.  In my dying breaths I tell them about my wife and they vow to find her and protect her.

-The DarkYodeler

It was in the third person.  I was having all this crazy sex in crazy positions but all I could think about was how gross my butt looked.


Dream Lover

March 3, 2008

[Disclaimer: The following is graphic in nature]

In my dreams there is this man. He’s always there, but a stranger every time. We are in a glass house. All the furniture and walls are glass–even the carpet and it cuts into my feet. He undresses me slowly. Cars pass by the house, and the people in them watch me. His stare searches my body; he licks my eyelids. I feel so cold. He remains dressed. I look down and the blood from my feet has filled up the room to my ankles. I look up and he is gone.

-Jessica Rabbit